Long-distance parenting plans require thoughtful approaches to better ensure that they are workable for everyone involved and that they facilitate the health of a child and the rights of their parents.
The foundation of a long-distance parenting plan is (usually) clear, consistent communication. Parents should do what they can to agree on how and when they will share updates, coordinate travel and broadly discuss their child’s school, medical needs and extracurricular activities. Setting expectations in advance helps avoid misunderstandings and ensures that each parent remains informed and involved.
Once communication concerns are solidified, what’s next?
One of the most important components of a successful long-distance plan is regular and reliable parenting time for both parents. School schedules, holidays and travel time must be factored into a family’s parenting schedule. Many families structure their plan around the academic calendar, with the long-distance parent having extended time during summer break, winter vacation and alternating holidays. Some plans also include occasional long weekends during the school year if travel is feasible.
If distance makes frequent in-person time difficult, consistent virtual contact becomes even more important than it might otherwise be. Technology can play a valuable role in maintaining parent-child bonds. Regular video calls, text messages, emails and shared digital calendars can help the long-distance parent stay involved in their child’s daily life (and for the other parent to remain similarly engaged during the long-distance parent’s time). Parents should agree on when and how virtual visits will occur, so the child can rely on this time as part of their routine.
Fairness in a long-distance plan does not necessarily mean equal time—it means ensuring the child has access to a strong and supportive relationship with both parents. When one parent has primary physical placement due to geography, the plan should still “give” the other parent ample opportunities to connect and participate in decision-making. Joint legal custody can remain intact even when parenting time is not shared evenly.
Finally, a family’s plan should include a mechanism for resolving disputes. Long-distance co-parenting can be tough, including when plans change or issues arise unexpectedly. Having a process for addressing disagreements—such as mediation or scheduled check-ins—can prevent conflict from escalating.
With careful planning and cooperation, long-distance arrangements can work well and allow children to thrive as a result of strong relationships with both parents.