There’s no doubt that divorce is hard on the children, especially when it comes to living arrangements. Transitioning between two homes places stress on them, particularly having to ensure that they have everything they need for their week at the other parent’s home.
One custody option that is trending is bird nesting. Instead of children moving back and forth between homes, the children remain in the family home while the parents rotate in and out.
What is bird nesting?
Bird nesting is a custody arrangement that is more child-focused. Rather than moving children between residences, parents take turns living with them in the family home. The parent who is “off-duty” lives in their own place or an alternative housing arrangement.
Benefits of bird nesting include:
- Stability for the children because they remain in the same home, among their neighborhood friends and school district.
- The burden of moving between homes shifts from the children to the parents, prioritizing the child’s well-being.
- It gives the children time to adjust to the changing family dynamics.
However, there are also disadvantages:
- Maintaining the family home and an additional residence can be expensive, placing a financial strain on the parents.
- Boundaries regarding privacy and decision-making become blurred when divorcing parents share the marital home.
- There is a potential for conflict regarding household rules, expenses and cleanliness of the shared home.
- It’s often a short-term solution, delaying the inevitable.
If you and your spouse are considering bird-nesting, it’s essential to lay some ground rules and clearly define the arrangement in writing. Here are some things you may want to address:
- How long will this arrangement last?
- How will expenses be split?
- What are the house rules regarding maintenance, chores and groceries?
- What happens when bird nesting ends?
A legal representative can help you draft a bird-nesting agreement that prioritizes your children’s needs, reduces conflict and protects your rights.