Divorce may end a marriage, but it does not generally end parenting responsibilities. Co-parenting can feel like walking on eggshells if you share children with someone you do not get along with. Maybe you argue often or there is just a cold tension every time you talk. Either way, it can be draining, especially when you are trying to stay calm for your kids.
In this situation, it is normal to feel frustrated or even resentful when forced to communicate with someone who is difficult and/or who has hurt you in the past. Even though you are no longer partners in marriage, you are still partners in parenting. Focusing keeping things civil when you do not even want to be in the same room isn’t easy.
Keep the peace, keep your sanity
With that said, you do not have to like your ex to be a good co-parent. You just need tools to keep the focus on your children. Here are some strategies that might help:
- Set clear boundaries: Decide how and when you will communicate. Stick to texts or emails if talking in person leads to arguments. Keep the conversations about the kids only.
- Use a shared parenting app: Tools like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents make it easier to share schedules and messages while keeping a record of everything.
- Do not react and respond to drama: If your ex pushes your buttons, pause before you reply. A short, calm response is always better than saying something in anger.
- Keep the kids out of it: Never vent about your ex to your children or ask them to pass messages. Kids should feel safe and neutral with both parents.
Letting small things slide can save your energy for what truly matters—your child’s well-being. Co-parenting with someone you no longer get along with is hard. Therefore, having a legal plan in place is important to help you avoid confusion and conflict when possible.